I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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