how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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