Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
