yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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