Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
