Can Purell be used as lube?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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