Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
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