My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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