The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
