Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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