i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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