Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize