3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
