i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
