Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
