Just mADE A PArabola og urine
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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