I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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