I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
