just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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