so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize