So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize