I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You pole danced in your parka.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
