my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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