Sober January is a disaster.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
