I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
