"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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