we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
