also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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