"it" just moved
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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