if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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