So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
