He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
