So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
