: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
