You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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