she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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