Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
