if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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