After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He passed out mid-signature
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
