I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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