CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
