My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
youre lurking in front of me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
