we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
