hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
