I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
