Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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