Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
