he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
