I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
