Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
