you would pick up someone in the library
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
