So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
