before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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