What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
