Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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