Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
