ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
