Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
