Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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