Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize