i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
