Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize