one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
