We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize