I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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