He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
